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avatar UniqueCold3812 2 year.agoDonald Trump was asked " what is 2+2"??

"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'Sir!, What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. Its terrible. Its just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, it's probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest. I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy but he's like, '10101000101', on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer. I don't know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. That I can tell you. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me. OK? Alright. Thank you." Reporter 1: "But what actually is 2+2?" Trump: "Siddown. No, siddown. I've already answered your question. Haven't I already answered your question. This is what we get from news reporters, folks. Give me a nice question. Yes - you." Reporter 2: "Is your name Donald Trump?" Trump: "Now that's a nice question, folks. That's what I want." Edit. To all people spamming my inbox with hate message. It's literally just a joke. Learn to take a joke like a joke or don't browse r/Jokes. Edit 2:- to the person who called reddit care on me thanks for your concern but no thanks I don't need it. I am mentally sound and physically fit. Edit 3:- To the person who messaged >I will see how you joke after i share your address libtard. Yeah I gonna keep a tab on your I'd mf. Let's see where is your home. I will spare you the effort. I live in India. Come and get me bro. Your entitled ass won't survive 2 minutes in the heat and humidity of here. All jokes aside i am little scared how much people can get charged up over a innocent joke.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. How does a Sleeping Dragon know he snores?

The smoke alarm wakes him

2. I went to the gym.

They gave me a punch card!

3. I have abandonment issues thanks to my cannibal ex-girlfriend.

Probably from all the times she desserted me.

4. My daughter finally started looking for a job. I told her there's an entry level job that people are dying to get into and you start with 3000 people beneath you.

Working at the graveyard isn't for everyone though!

5. How do diamonds get to know other diamonds better?

Carbon Dating!

6. Original joke from my 8 yr old boy

If there was a soccer game between humans and bugs, the humans would crush it.

7. How did the dog get all A's on its report card?

It was the teacher's pet.

8. I've never been a fan of facial hair.

But now it's starting to grow on me.

9. Hobbits are a branch of the human race, but I think they have some similarities to plants.

That's why they can perform Frodo synthesis.

10. There was a full house at the cinema when there was a sudden power cut.

A man with a foreign accent walked up to the front of the theatre and announced in a loud voice "Everybody please raise your hands!", over and over. People wondered what was going on but some of them decided to humor him and started raising their hands, then some more, then some more, until eventually almost everyone in the cinema had their hands raised. Suddenly power was restored and the movie continued. The patron in the seat next to him asked him "how did you do that?". He replied "As we say in my country, many hands make light work".

11. What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?

A chicken tender.

12. I told my plants I needed some space…

now they won’t leaf me alone.

13. What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper?

FIZZician!

14. A typo walks into a bear.

There was Type-O splattered everywhere.

15. I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg.

He said "have to love Easter, baby"

16. How many ants do you need to become a landlord?

Ten. You need ten ants.

17. I wrote a book on how to fall down the stairs...

It's a step by step guide

18. What do you call a Cow that fasts during Ramadan?

Mooslim

19. I would love to tell you about Life before the Big Bang

But unfortunately there's no Time!

20. What type of jewelry does the headless horseman wear?

A neckless.

21. Why did the golfer wear to pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one

22. What happens when a battery leaves the hospital?

It gets discharged. 🙂‍↕️

23. The best puns…

… are when your kids have had enough and skip the rolling of eyes altogether. They go from Dad joke to Dad choke in zero point to the door seconds.

24. The shovel was ground breaking.

But the broom is what swept the nation.

25. A photon goes to the airport. The ticket agent asks if there's any luggage to check.

The photon replies, “No, I'm traveling light.”

26. I was looking for Regulus in Leo…

But I came up Chort.

27. Original one from my 8 yr old boy

What’s a frog’s favorite band - The Beatles

28. At dinner, my date asked if I spoke any other languages. I said, “Yeah, I know ASL.” She lit up—“Oh wow, can you teach me??” I said, “Sure, it’s super easy!”

Then I signed the letters ‘A’ ‘S’ ‘L’

29. How do you keep a redditor in suspense?

I'll tell ya tomorrow!

30. I haven't talked to my wife for almost 2 years now.

I don't want to interrupt her.

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